Guilt - how to use it, and how to get over yourself

This might seem obvious, but as you uplevel in your business, you will need to dig more, do more work on yourself than ever before.

And that means questioning things you already know the answer to.

Or you assume you do.

Take guilt. Any self-respecting Good Egg will know how guilt feels.

The pressure on your chest, the restriction in your throat, nagging voice in your head that says you have f*cked something up.

But what is it? And why do we feel it? When does it show up for you?

Guilt is an emotion that appears when we realise - or think - we have done wrong, not done something we ought, or compromised our own standards and values - and we bear responsibility for that act or omission.

Let's unpack that a bit - if we know we have done wrong by an act or omission, and we feel responsible for that - that makes sense, and we, as good people should feel remorse.

But it's the perceived wrongdoing that can often grind us down. When you think you have done wrong, but aren't sure if you have - have you pissed someone off, have you missed any important dates at school, have you done enough ...

Guilt is also retrospective - looking back on what should/ought to/didn't do.

Worry is future focused (and totally pointless in my opinion. Don't worry about it, do something about it)

But guilt is the one where you feel baaaaad. Like, crap.

'I've f*cked it up'

'I've not been the best mum/dad/spouse/business partner'

‘I have spent too much time in the business and not on the children/myself’

‘So many people are struggling financially, and yet I want more. What kind of a monster am I?’

Or sometimes where we are made to feel guilty - that’s a double whammy. Someone else throwing us a big dollop of their own insecurities, and us allowing them to.

And you know, as uplevellers, that you will make mistakes. And learn from them. And move on.

But the feeling often remains. And can do for years. Long after the mistake has been rectified.

What can you do about that?

ONE

acknowledge the feeling. Bottling anything is useless unless you actually intend it to ferment. Like wine.

TWO

question - did I actually do the thing I feel guilty about? Or is it a perception?

THREE

if you did, make up for your wrongdoing. Make the apology. Rectify the problem. (especially if it is to yourself)

if not, why do you feel guilty? Is it on you, or is someone making you feel like this? Try journalling on why you feel like this.

FOUR

learn the lesson. What could you have done differently?

FIVE

Forgive yourself. You may have ballsed up, but you have apologised, and made good. We all do it. Let it go.

SIX

BREATHE. A LOT. Get fresh air in your lungs and flush it out.

Dance round the kitchen like a loony. Get some movement in your limbs.

You did good, kid.

Where does guilt show up for you?

How do you shake it off?

Let me know below