How to find your strengths and weaknesses and why we struggle with both
It's a fundamental human dilemma that we assume that our strengths are shared by everyone and therefore have very little value. But our weaknesses are ours alone.
We take dark, shameful ownership of the areas where we are struggle, assuming we're the only ones who suffer suffering that way. But our superpowers, the things that make us uniquely brilliant can be hard to even spot. Some will ignore them, dismiss them or often use against ourselves.
Why do we dismiss our strengths?
1. Fear of looking boastful
We may well not want to celebrate our successes or strengths out loud the fear of feeling looking immodest or bragging. Some cultures will struggle with this idea more than others. Us Brits, are trained to brush off compliments and never speak up about our strengths. There are TikTok accounts and Instagram hashtags about it (follow ‘Very British Problems’ if you don’t already. Brilliant)
But this goes a lot far past national cultures
2. Avoiding comparison
Not wanting to stick your head above the parapet to avoid comparison with others is another common reason. Do you look at other people and assume that they more competent, more credible, better at our strengths than you are? Do you have any evidence for that?
3. They come so naturally to us that we can’t see them
It’s often our superpowers that we struggle the most to recognise or admit to. Our superpowers are those innate qualities that come so naturally to us that we don't even know we're doing it. Those things that we would struggle to put our finger on, but if I asked your friends and family or your team what you are the “go to person” for they would have no hesitation in being able to answer. An architect client once admitted he was astonished that ‘not everyone can see through walls’. Some will start to create Gantt charts in their heads as soon as a project kicks off, or some just know the right words to use in any given situation.
Why do we fixate on our weaknesses?
We cling on, white-knuckled, to our weaknesses, assuming that we are the only people who struggle with this with any particular character flaw. The more we keep those dirty little secrets buried the bigger and more fetid those weaknesses become.
We don’t want to admit to worries, in case people doubt our competency, our ability to do our job, or feel sorry for us.
The truth of the matter is we all have our own strengths and weaknesses.
Many of those strengths will be shared by others, but not by everyone. It’s exactly the same with weaknesses. There are certain characteristics that most people struggle with. But admitting to them feels like failure or being vulnerable.
How to own your strengths and manage your weaknesses
When you consider all of this, it's no surprise that people invest £1000s in understanding their personalities, individual character traits and strengths and challenges. The business and personal growth world is littered with assessments from Myers Briggs, Insights, DISC, Strengthfinders, and, my own personal favourite, GiANT’s 5Voices.
It’s important to understand what makes us unique – the good and the bad – and where we share commonality with others.
The power of understanding that “it's not just me” can’t be underestimated.
When my clients get this lightbulb, the impact is enormous, and often instant. An uplift in confidence, improving their ability to speak up and perform much better at work, reduce anxiety and increase overall happiness.
We need to focus on our superpowers.
In 'The Big Leap' Gaye Hendricks calls it your ‘Zone of Genius’ – so innate and natural to you that others struggle with.
Personality profiling or psychometric testing will take us so far to finding it. All these assessments or categories will help us to see some of those areas where we are strong.
But we learn so much more from where we are individuals, and don't conform to the ‘type’.
And if we're able to see our strengths as more individual and take ownership of them, are we more able to see our superpowers as superpowers? See the areas where we alone will shine?
What are your superpowers, your USP? Where do you use thrive and shine above others? How comfortable are you in celebrating those or even demonstrating them to other people
How about your weaknesses? How good are you at owning them? Or do you hold on to them so tightly that they stop you from doing anything at all?
My superpower? Strategic relational problem-solving. I can read people quickly - can read a room, or a team, in a heartbeat. And I can help you be at your best. It’s why I do what I do.
If you'd like to understand yourself better, understand your own superpowers and let go of some of those weaknesses, message me.
If you fancy taking my 20 minute assessment first click here.