The Overwhelmed Leader
Constantly tired, stressed or irritable?
Overwhelm manifests itself in many different ways, from brain fog and inability to concentrate, difficulty making the simplest of decisions, needing to withdraw from people and places, and a rise in perfectionism and procrastination - and the frustration when you Just Want To Get Things Done.
It can even manifest in physical problems - headaches, back pain, fatigue, insomnia and even digestive issues.
Feeling overwhelmed is hardly unique to leaders, executives, founders - yet you often deny, ignore or push these feelings away. Do you feel that it ‘comes with the territory’ or feel guilty that you even feel like this, - that you ‘should’ be able to cope better by now.
As a leader, you’re the go-to person for others. But what happens when the going gets tough for you?
And how do you nip it in the bud before you head for burnout?
Signs you may be overwhelmed
We all react to pressure, demands and difficulties differently - and some people are better at hiding it than others, sometimes even to themselves. But when there are several indicators that you aren’t quite coping, or behaving in an unusual way - it’s time to take action.
‘That’s not like me’ - often the first indicator is that you start behaving uncharacteristically. If you are normally very logical and systematic, you might be more emotional or moody. If you are an action-taker, perhaps your perfectionism and procrastination kick in
‘This is what I help others with - why can’t I do it for myself’ - whether that’s being able to handle hard conversations, or rationalising the endless to do list when the Eisenhower matrix is usually your BFF - suddenly you realise that what would be easy if you were advising anyone else is the thing that you are stuck on.
Others walking on eggshells - it’s one thing when you realise that something’s off, but even worse when you see that others are avoiding conversations with you. Are others having to make allowances for you ‘Paul’s under a lot of pressure at the moment, leave that one with me’ or even ‘Mummy’s been working hard, why don’t we leave her in peace this evening’
‘Sorry, can you run that one past me again?’ - when you feel your attention drifting during a conversation or you get fidgety and irritable that the meeting’s taking up time you could be doing other things - so your brain goes on a little detour. It’s inefficient, embarrassing and rude - you know it is, but your inability to concentrate or even listen has dwindled.
The anxiety bird has taken up residence in your chest every morning - you haven’t slept well in weeks anyway, but when you do wake, there’s the now-familiar flapping wings of anxiety as soon as you wake. Feeling like you’ve overslept and missed something, or a feeling of dread about the oncoming day.
Feeling sick and tired of feeling sick and tired - everything aches, you’ve got a headache, nausea and something else you can’t quite put your finger on. You haven’t got time to get to the osteopath…. ‘if only I could get one good night’s sleep, I’d be fine’
Taking on more and more work - whether it’s because you worry that the team won’t meet that deadline, so you stay late to finish off their work, or you find your boundaries wandering and you can’t say no - when you have less time than usual, you’re still taking on more.
Yes, that’s me. But what can I do about it? I’m too busy to deal with it now!
Let’s keep it as simple as possible - you’re already overwhelmed!
So here’s a win straight off the bat - you’ve just taken the first step…
7 Steps To Overcoming Overwhelm
Learning how to control your thoughts, and the emotions that have created them is a game-changer. Your perceptions shape your reality - we become what we think.
When you can recognise the thoughts that create the mood, that change the behaviour - you’re a big step into short-circuiting the problem
Recognise where you are - like the strange relief you get when the doctor actually diagnoses the ailment and gives you the magic cream - you know what you’re dealing with, and can now do something about it. You’ve already nailed this one. Tick this off the to-do list.
Breathe. Right now. Take a big deep breath. Olympic athletes, deep sea divers and yogis understand the power of breath, how it can reduce your heart rate, increase blood flow, improve your mood. It’s all about the ‘out-breath’. Sit quietly for 2 minutes. Breathe in for a count of 2, hold, then breathe out for a count of 4. Repeat. Then in for 3, out for 6, repeat. Then in for 4, out for 8. Then check in with yourself.
Eisenhower it - now your heart’s stopped racing, let’s get practical. You can’t do everything. And you definitely can’t do it all now. Write your list of All The Things, then use the chart below to sort them. Breathing a little easier?
Get a life - That work/life balance. It’s important. With a workday of 10+ hours, it’s hard to see when you’d have time for balance. Taking work home, logging on at weekends to crunch through some tasks. But now you’ve delegated or deleted some of your workload, block in time for a life outside - quick, before it gets absorbed again.
Let’s get Physical - Getting some exercise, whether that’s just walking the stairs, or getting a run or a swim in before work is critical for your mental wellbeing as well as your body. It’ll help with anxiety, give you headspace and also make you more able to sleep better. Also, drink the water. Hydrated brains work better than shrivelled ones.
Mindfulness - Whether that’s just practising the breathing technique above, or setting aside time to meditate, journal or just time to stop and smell the flowers - creating a mindfulness practice is as important for your health as going to the gym. It will also make you a more intentional and considered leader.
Time blocking - wondering how you will fit all of the last 6 steps into your already busy day? Timeblock your diary. Ask your PA to sit with you once a week and block your diary with time to exercise, headspace, time to complete the actions you agreed to in that meeting and time to have lunch. (Yes. Lunch. It’s a physiological need, not a selfish luxury. Try to eat away from your desk, perhaps with a friend, or in the fresh air)
Using these skills, you will actually manage to be more productive when there’s never enough time.
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